


Fires, Burns and Bullets

by richiespacedust1



Series: Arson is a Serious Charge [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Like, Other, So much angst, Suicide, after they've all been graduated for a while lol, hm gonna do my own take on that, im so sorry, let's just say that while the ending for bmc was Good i was like, this is set WAAAAY in the future, this was a vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 12:00:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15907857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/richiespacedust1/pseuds/richiespacedust1
Summary: If you follow me on tumblr you've already seen this but uhhh here ya go.Rich regretted that night. He regretted it with every fiber of his being. But he couldn't change the past. And he could still hear the screams.





	Fires, Burns and Bullets

**Author's Note:**

> Please take major caution when reading this! I was in a very bad mental state when I wrote it and the content may be very triggering to some people. Also, this is really short. Like I said in the tags, I wrote this at the turn of the New Year as a vent fic.

My name is Richard Anthony Goranski. I am seventeen years old. I was born --- ---, 19--. And on the night of October 31st, 2015, I killed Jeremiah Heere."  
The tape clicked off. He stared at the blank projector screen, at the young face it had shown him. Richard Goranski. Rich. He hadn't heard that name since.... Since...  
No. He didn't want to think about that. Thinking about that brought up painful memories he's tried so hard to forget. Memories of parties. Of beer. Of women, of men, of laughing 'til they puked. It brought up memories of his dad, drunk. And screaming at him. Of fighting with his dad until his lungs gave out, and of the taste of blood in his mouth. Of crying in his best friends arms that same night. It brought up memories of the things he'd said to people. Of how he'd try to fight anyone, even though a lot of people towered over him. And, lastly, it brought up memories of that night, that fateful Halloween night when he'd tried to kill himself. Where he set fire to his best friends house, leaving him with third-degree burns and another boy dead.  
Jeremy was his friend. At least, that's what his SQUIP had told him. Jeremy wasn't supposed to die. And yet, he took his last breath in his best friend's arms on the front lawn that night. And here Rich sat, 28 years later.  
"I was supposed to die." Rich leaned back in his chair. "It was supposed to be me." And then Rich remembered Michael. Michael, who killed himself exactly three months after Jeremy's funeral.  
Michael, who sobbed so hard that day his face had been bright red.  
Michael, who wore weed socks and listened to Bob Marley.  
Michael, who had loved Jeremy.  
Rich attended Michael's funeral. Michael's mother, upon seeing Rich, started screaming, blaming the death of her son, her only son, her baby boy, on him. Rich accepted it, blaming himself, too.

He cried at the funeral. He cried so hard he puked. And he didn't even realize he was screaming Michael's name until two guys - Michael's brothers? - dragged him out of the church, and told him to shut up. That he was the cause of this. Which, Rich guessed he was.

He had collapsed outside of the church, and he sobbed, screaming Michael's name just like Michael had screamed Jeremy's three months before.  
But now, twenty-eight years later, the tears streaming down Rich's face weren't for Michael. Or for Jeremy. They were the type of tears that fell when you were really, truly terrified.  
And the only thought before Rich pulled the trigger was that he hoped someone came to his funeral.

**Author's Note:**

> oof thanks for reading this thing!! If this gets minorly good reception I may think about posting the follow-up to this. Who knows, though ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
